Amazon is currently the sixth highest ranked website on the World Wide Web, based on page views, unique visitors and time spent browsing the online store.

Having surpassed Walmart as the most valuable retailer in the United States and operating around the globe, Amazon is somewhat synonymous with the Internet – if you’re online, chances are you’ve bought something from or, at the very least, browsed the famed retail website.

It is unsurprising, then, that trolley-loads of articles have been written about Amazon, from their tax-dodging antics to illegal items and oddities – but ‘Funny Amazon reviews’ have always been my favourite. But, as a Brit, I can’t help but notice that our hysterical reviews often go unmentioned. We’re funny too and we deserve to be noticed!

Here are some of the funniest reviews that can be found on Amazon.co.uk:

Pat Butcher Canvas Clock

funny amazon.co.uk reviews

 

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A clock that makes you do unspeakable things. Warning: May be demoniacally possessed… Too many brilliant comments to choose from! With 103 reviews of comedic gold, you can waste hours and hours reading about a satanic Pat Butcher clock.

Click here to read all of the comments.

Sigmund Freud Action Figure

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Renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud is famed for his psychoanalysis theory. He is also well known for his cocaine use and his Oedipus complex theory, which suggests that toddlers display sexual desire towards their parents… Perhaps not the best of role models. An epic of an Amazon review – the tragic tale of Horace Redhart isn’t one to be missed. We’ve provided the best parts, but should read the full review novel.

Click here to read all of the comments.

Invisible Bilbo Baggins Action Figure

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Where iss it? Where iss it? Losst it is, my precious… Losst! Lost! Curse us and crush us, my precious is lost! Loads of glorious reviews, all with one common theme – lost (or at least they think) action figures. Because it’s invisible, get it?

Click here to read all of the comments.

Captain John W. Trimmer’s How to Avoid Huge Ships

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The perfect book for anybody who currently has a huge ship hurtling towards them… Or, in other words, nobody at all, which is exactly why it has become a treasure trove of troll-y Amazon reviews. How to Avoid Huge Ships has attracted all sorts of Amazon reviewers, from the constipated to animal rights advocates to mums concerned about the dangers that huge ships pose to their children.

Click here to read all of the comments.

Sugar Free Jelly Teddy Bears

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And just in case you think it’s an elaborate mass-hoax…

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So the rumours go, sugar free jelly babies (and jelly bears, so it seems) have a laxative effect that will cost you a pair of undies – just check out these reviews if you don’t believe me… If toilet humour is your thing, these reviews are really, really crappy…

Click here to read all of the comments.

Katie Price & Peter Andre: A Whole New World

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Peter Andre had his day, but Katie Price… The fact that Amazon are trying to charge people £2.00 for this CD is a travesty. I wouldn’t take it if they paid me £2.00. The human race has had some low points and this is one of them, but at least it spawned hundreds of entertaining Amazon comments.

Click here to read all of the comments.

BiC ‘For Her’ Pen

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So it turns out that the standard BiC ballpoint pen was only meant to be used by big, strong men. Luckily BiC have released a ‘For Her’ range to cater to a woman’s small, delicate hands. The right to vote, the right to own property, equal pay – equality has come a long way, but it doesn’t seem that these women are ready for the right to write just yet.

Click here to read all of the comments.

Veet for Men Hair Removal

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Crass, witless, oafish, gross. Call it what you want, you can’t deny that it is childishly funny! Slightly NSFW, we’ve… Tidied it up a bit (Get it?) for those that don’t want to read such abhorrent language. If reading about men who have lost their bits and bobs is your cup of tea, these crass, witless, oafish and gross rev are for you.

Click here to read all of the comments.

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